So, its been a few days since my last post.  I think I really need to get on here daily, because it was like I was hit with a million thoughts about all the things going wrong in my life, and all of the things that could be going better...they were so incessant, that I spent 1 full day in between bouts of tears over the fact that I will be having to go back to work at some point...when just a few days earlier I was absolutely fine with the situation.  Why is it that one day you can be perfectly content with your life, and feel so blessed for what you have...and then the next day it feels like everything is falling apart??  Sometimes its like the world feels like its falling in on me, but I know that Im not the only one who feels this way sometimes.

I seems so easy to veer away from remembering what it important, and what I have to be so thankful for...the world has a way of making you feel like you need more, like what we have isn't good enough...and if only we had the next thing on our list accomplished...then we would be TRULY happy.   But that is a lie, we should be happy now...in this moment, with all that we have right now.  Dont get me wrong, it is important to strive for goals...and to be motivated for the future...and we should be excited for what is to come, however, it should not cloud our judgement into thinking that we wont be happy until we reach that next level.  The reality is, whatever level you get to, whatever stage you are at...there will ALWAYS be another step, another stage, another level...so that means if we are never happy until we get to the next point, we will never be satisfied.

I thought about it yesterday, there are so many things in my life to be thankful for.  My amazing, bright, beautiful little boy, who is so healthy and happy...my wonderful supportive husband.  We live in a free country, with so many opportunities.  We have clean water to drink.  My family is taken care of, we have everything we need.  My husband and I both have an education.  I have a great job to go back to, and I only have to work a few 1/2 days a week.  I have the capacity to love, and be loved by another.  I can see with my eyes, the beautiful sunsets that God gives us each night.  I can smell the beautiful flowers that my husband bought for me, and I can taste the delicious food that we can afford to buy, and cook ourselves.
I have the ability to have children, and create a family.  I have so many wonderful memories to think of, and share with my children.  I dont have to worry when I go to bed at night if we are safe or not.  I have this day, this moment to be happy with all that I have.

There are too many things in life that can steal our joy, God gave us GRACE, MERCY & PEACE.  He gives us the ability to keep our joy, even when we dont deserve it.  I know that whatever stage of life I am in, God with provide just enough of the three of those things to get me through.  Today I pray for peace in my heart, to accept the inevitable change that is life...and to be grateful for all the wonderful blessings in my life today.

Family is everything...

As I reflect on my life, there are so many memories, and so many people that have made a difference in my life.  Although I do believe that friends are important, and I cherish all of my friendships...family is really what is important.  When I was younger, I remember thinking about how I could not wait to grow up and be able to do whatever I wanted!  I went through a phase where all I could care about was what was happening on the weekend, who was dating whom, and if I was going to have just the "right" outfit so that I would fit in at the next house party. Its an interesting time in our lives, when we completely turn our focus on the outside world...and although it is important to be figuring out who we are and where we fit into this world...it is a scary time, full of uncertainty and insecurities.  I am so fortunate that I had a wonderful family to keep me grounded, because if it wasn't for them, who knows where I would be.  I am also so thankful to have met my husband, who doesn't care about material things, and who completely accepts me for who I am, even my "up all night, no shower in 24+ hours look!"

 Today, I'm lucky if I'm able to get a shower in most days, my weekends consist of exactly what I did during the week...which is taking care of Anderson, and spending time with my family...and I could care less about who all those single people in the world are dating!  What I have realized is that as you get older, you begin to care less and less about what the world thinks of you, and more and more about what your family thinks of you, and believe me, the last thing on their minds is what brand you are supporting!

I know that the only thing my son Anderson really needs from me is unrelenting, unconditional, pure LOVE.  He is only focused on our smiles & cuddles, not our clothes, or if we've gained an extra few pounds...its the most refreshing way to live life!  I wish we could all live our lives like that, and we did, before we were corrupted by what the world wants from us.  I think we should take a minute every day, to reflect on what is TRULY important...so that we can over ride the suggestions, images, and demands of this world.  We should learn from our children about what truly makes us happy...LOVE.  And if you think about it, isnt this Jesus Christ's whole message??  Without love, there is nothing.

Lately Ive been even more thankful for my family, I went through a traumatic labor and delivery with my son...and I had to rely on the help and support of my family to get me through.  My mom was there for me is more ways than I could ever have imagined, my husband was my rock...and my Dad kept cheering me on through the ups and downs of recovery.  My family was my strength.

So, today I am grateful for my family...my amazing, wonderful family.

I am grateful today

Today I am grateful for my life.  I have a wonderful, hardworking, supportive husband, and an amazing little baby boy who is full of energy & life.  Yes, I am tired, but I am so thankful that I get to experience the many joys of being a wife and mother.  Of course there are times when I look at my single friends and think, wow, it must be nice to be able to sleep in, and have no real responsibilities...but if that was the case, I wouldn't be living life with my amazing family...I wouldn't be able to cuddle with my precious boy, and sing to him while the breeze hits his contented little face.  I wouldn't be able to watch him grow, and look into my husbands eyes and not even have to tell him what is on my mind...because he already knows.  I wouldn't be there to bath my baby boy, and give him his nightly message, then snuggle him up in my arms as he drifts off to sleep with his bottle...kissing those cheeks makes all the sleepless nights worth while somehow...and nothing compares to that smile that lights up his face, and makes his eyes twinkle, as if to say, "I love you mom".

Yes, there are times when I long for a good nights sleep...but that is really the only thing I long for these days because I am fulfilled in so many other ways.  I am thankful to have a husband that respects me, and talks through every situation with me.  He gets up to work every day, and wants the very best for his family...he is always there to share the load with me...and supports me in every aspect of my life.  I am thankful that he is home when he's not working, and isn't out getting into things, he is loyal...and trustworthy, and kind.  He is everything that makes for a wonderful husband, but most of all...he is an incredible Dad.  His eyes light up when he sees our son's face, and there is a tenderness about him that I have never seen before.  I know that Anderson is going to grow up feeling so loved...and that is all I can ask for.

Every day we have a choice, we can either be depressed about all of the things we wished we had....or we can turn our focus toward to the light...where all things glimmer in the warmth of gratefulness...a grateful heart is filled with love and compassion, with joy and laughter...instead of the ungrateful heart which is filled with jealousy, envy, and the dark depths of despair.    I choose to be grateful...I choose happiness.

I will finish with this quote:

Be grateful for all that you have, and you will end up having more.  For those who are always looking for more, will never ever have enough.  "author unknown"